You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
