I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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