the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I'm way too hungover for life right now
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
