did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
