So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
