your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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