i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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