We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
