Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
He better not be in your backpack
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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