Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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