so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
