Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
No subtext here. People are naked.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I came so hard my ears popped.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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