false alarm. still invincible.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
either way he was missing a nipple.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
