Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
oh god was she eating orange peels again
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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