It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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