its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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