Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
