I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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