YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize