At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Randomize
