she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
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