she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
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