Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
A bitchslap is in order.
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