i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
