A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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