Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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