he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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