I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
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