I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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