That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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