think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize