SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Randomize
