she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Sorry about my life...
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
