I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Randomize
