This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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