the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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