I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
