is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
