I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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