what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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