from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
