i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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