I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
