when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I checked into jail on foursquare
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize