Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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