He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
