juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize