Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I don't deserve a penis
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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