..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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