if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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