just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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