Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
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