It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
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