no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
