Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Randomize