just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I want to be your penis for a week.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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