well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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