I want to have your abortion
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
third nipple confirmed
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
