I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
