Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
