have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
